I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
