This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize