I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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