did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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