i think my mom watched the whole time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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