You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
