its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
