Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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