We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
