well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have post one night stand depression
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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