I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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