Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night