it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
