those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
