i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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