You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
