Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
