i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
