Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
