Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
