one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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