I hate your face
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
