Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
50% drunk capacity currently
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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