gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
