Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
