i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
