Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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