i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
