Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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