i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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