after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
