It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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