My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
