Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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