i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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