OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Vodka?
Forever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
