I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
