Me too!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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