Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
