I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
