its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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