Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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