He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
