Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
