I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
