It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
