i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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