i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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