I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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