Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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