Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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