I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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