Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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