do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
