Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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