He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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