i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
