Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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