watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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