all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
