You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
